How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you.” – Dan Reiland
When I think of the word CHARISMA, I think of the used car salesman that sold me my first car. I was 19 years old, saved up all my money, and walked in with all the wide eye naive enthusiasm buying my first car. I remember feeling excited, overwhelmed and totally ready to negotiate the killer contract. Until he walked up. An hour later I signed off on a used AMC Renault Encore, paying outrageous interest. Funny thing, I was satisfied and content with the contract; although now, looking back I was an idiot. To me, that salesman was the most charismatic person I met.
Later as my career in home business started, I met many charismatic people. Those people on stage that were well polished, looked great, spoke even greater…. like politicians, many of them had that smile and kissed babies and shook hands in the crowd in between fulfilling the photograph requests with their patient followers. I started to believe having charisma was not a good thing.
I was wrong. I confused charisma with another trait…. one we will cover later in the book. I was so glad to read this chapter and remind myself what charisma was, and that it wasn’t a bad thing to have… in fact, it is a great thing.
Charisma, as Maxwell defines it on page 10, is “the ability to draw people to you And like other character traits, it can be developed.” Whew. Good to know. So there is still hope for me to develop my charisma. I do need more followers.
Here are some pointers to make you into the person others want to follow:
- Love life. Become a celebrator not a complainer. Be passionate about life.
- Put a “10″ on every person’s head. See the good in people.
- Give people hope. Love Napoleon Hill’s quote that leaders become a “dealer in hope”.
- Share yourself. Share your wisdom, resources and time.
The bottom line is other-mindedness. Leaders who think about others and their concerns before thinking of themselves exhibit charisma.
What I loved about this chapter is Maxwell’s mention of the roadblocks to charisma: see if you encountered any of these….
- Pride. Nobody wants to follow a leader who thinks they are better than everyone else.
- Insecurity. If you are uncomfortable with who you are, others will be too.
- Moodiness. If people never know what to expect from you, they stop expecting. (Ok, this is a bit unfair to us WAHMs…haven’t met a single woman out there that isn’t moody!)
- Perfectionism. I’m guilty of this big time!
- Cynicism. People don’t want to be rained on by someone who sees a cloud around every silver lining.
To improve your charisma, Maxwell suggests the following:
- Change your focus. When you talk to others, see how much of the conversation revolves around you.
- Play the first impression game. Treat everyone you meet for the next few days as a “10″ or VIP. Learn their name, their interest. See how much you can learn about them!
- Share yourself. How can you add value to your family, friends, colleagues….
When you focus on others, not on yourself… that charisma. Plain and simple and it is something I’m working on to improve.
Next chapter, “Commitment: It Separates Doers From Dreamers”…..
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